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This week Dave and Steel are rejoined by their friend Aaron to discuss their New Year’s Resolutions and New Year’s Predictions. Dave shares his top five presidential haircuts of all time, the three of them give their predictions for 2016 and 2116, they share extreme stories of human endurance on another installment of To the Limits, share great dance party music from Prince, Outkast, the Notorious B.I.G., LCD Soundsystem, Missy Elliott, and Miley Cyrus, and Steel shares New Year’s themed poems from Naomi Shihab Nye, Louis Zukofsky and W. S. Merwin.
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Presidential Hair
Big prediction for the coming year: presidential hair will become a major issue in 2016. With that in mind, here’s our list of the top 5 presidential hairstyles of all time.
- John Adams: the Nohawk.
John Adams modeling the Nohwak Adams’ celebrity doppelgänger: Paula Dean.
- James K Polk: the original mullet.
James K. Polk, 11th president of the United States and inventor of the mullet. Polk’s celebrity doppelgänger: Mel Gibson
- Franklin Pierce: the curly elevator.
Franklin Pierce, sporting the ‘Curly Elevator’ Pierce’s celebrity doppelganger: Lyle Lovett
- Andrew Johnson: the man bob
Andrew Johnson proudly sporting the ‘man bob’ Johnson’s celebrity doppelgänger: Tommy Lee Jones
- John F. Kennedy: the handsome man
John F. Kennedy, owner of the ‘handsome man’ since he was a child. - HONORABLE MENTION: William Howard Taft: the wounded walrus.
Taft relaxes, secure in the knowledge that no one can do the wounded walrus quite the way that he can. Celebrity doppelgänger: Richard Riehle
To The Limits
- Carlton Williams, a 50 year old Welsh construction worker living in Australia, completed 2,221 pushups in one hour. He broke his own record, which had previously been 1,874 to 2,221–which is unworldly!
- George Harbo and Frank Samuelsen were the first people to even row across the Atlantic Ocean, which they did in 1896 for a $10,000 prize that never came. Their time record for rowing the North Atlantic Ocean was not broken for 114 years, and then by four rowers instead of two.
- In November, Shia Labeouf participated in a fascinatingly mundane movie marathon where he sat in a New York theater and watched all of his movies. It lasted three days and consisted of 29 movies. The public was allowed to come into the theater, and watch Shia’s movies with Shia. A live feed was broadcast where you could watch Shia’s face react to his own movies. At one point he fell asleep in the aisle during “Transformers 3.” Perhaps the most amazing thing about this was that Shia wore a giant winter coat with a hoodie underneath it the entire time. You’d think he’d get really sweaty.
Unchained Melodies: New Year’s Eve Dance Party
Book Wisdom
This week Steel shared three New Year’s themed poems: “Burning the Old Year” by Naomi Shihab Nye; “[untitled]” (Celia’s birthday poem) by Louis Zukofsky; and “To the New Year” by W.S. Merwin.
Featured image by seanmcgrath 
