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This week Dave and Steel are joined by Steel’s old friend Jack Bangerter to talk all things Summer Olympics. We talk about our lack of world-class talent, they also throw in a segment of small talk (this week featuring edible crayons, demonic chimpmunks, and metallic hydrogen) and then spend a solid 40 minutes reliving all the great moments from the Rio Olympics 2016 and suggesting some really outstanding improvements to the lineup of events for future games. We also present to you an Unchained Melodies made up of our ideal medal winning songs and bring to you some ancient Greek poetic Book Wisdom from Pindar, whose Olympic Odes are among the earliest records we have of athletic greatness. It’s a gold medal performance, this week, for sure.

Links

Small Talk

Mastery of these three topics are sure to make you the center of any late summer social gathering you might be lucky enough to attend. You’re welcome.

• Edible Crayons! Examples here, here and here [Dave]
• The battle over the “demonic chipmunk” in the Mississippi legislature. UPDATE: The Mississippi Supreme Court is on the case! [Steel]
• Metallic hydrogen and superconductor possibilities [Jack]

The 2016 Summer Olympic Games

Personal Olympian Connections

• I took an art class with Alev Kolter, and Kelsey Card was a student worker in our son’s daycare last year. Had no idea that either were Olympians until after the games ended, though. [Steel]
• I met Michael Phelps at a karaoke bar. We sang The Turtles’ classic hit “So Happy Together.” I feel directly responsible for at least 5 gold medal perfomances. [Dave]
• I accidentally stepped on Jeret “Speedy” Peterson’s finger once and he stood up and punched me in the face. It didn’t really hurt but it broke my sunglasses. I was wearing them indoors, so I guess all’s fair? Also, my uncle, mom’s sister’s husband, Jim Osborne won a bronze medal in the 1968 games in Mexico City.

Favorite Athletic Achievement

• Simone Biles and Aly Raisman‘s total dominance of the women’s gymnastics all-around. [Steel]
• Lilly King’s finger wag and defeat of Yulia Efimova in the 100m breaststroke [Dave]
• David Katoatua’s post-lift dancing [Jack]

Favorite Failures

• Estonian triplets competed in the marathon [inspiration for Dave’s triplets!]
• Haitian hurdler Jeffrey Julmis wiping out HARD on first hurdle, but still finishing his race. [Dave]
• The Refugee Olympic Team [10 athletes in 3 sports], and Yusra Mardini in particular
• Mongolian wrestler celebrating too early, gives up penalty point, and loses bronze medal. Coaches strip to protest. Crowd cheers “Mongolia, Mongolia” [Steel]
• Dutch gymnast faceplants on high bar. Gets up and nails rest of routine. Heroic. [Steel]
• Frank “The Gorilla Hulk” Molinaro–the most ‘jersey shore’ US athlete in Olympic history, got bitten while wrestling. He narrowly lost out on a Bronze medal to an Italian guy (born in Cuba) also named Frank (heart breaker) [Steel].
• Tangriev from Uzbekistan was brilliant in +100kg men’s judo in both matches. (57:42 and 1:43:22) 78 kilo women’s judo bronze B was a breathtaking defeat [Jack].

Unchained Melodies: Olympic Anthem Replacements Edition

Book Wisdom

This week Steel shared the ancient Greek poet Pindar‘s victory ode: “Olympian 12“: For Ergoteles of Himera Long Foot Race 466 B. C.